Yesterday I had an essential Russian experience - the banya. The banya is a public bathhouse that Russians go to about once a week. First, they go to a really hot sauna. After they get a good sweat going, they beat themselves or each other with a bundle of birch branches called a veniki. This is supposed to release toxins from your body. Then they go shower, and if they're really brave they jump into a cold pool. After this, they sit in a dressing room where they have drinks and snacks and chat. They repeat this process about five times over the course of two hours. Before I left for Russia, I read about the banya in my guidebook. I was so excited to try it and told my mother. She said, "Audrey, don't do it. You'll faint." I decided that I had to do it, because I would probably only be in Russia once and it is an important part of Russian culture. Besides, I didn't think that I would faint at the banya.
I fainted at the banya. The women there took excellent care of me, especially Galya. These Russians are tough people, let me tell you! They endure these brutally cold winters and can also endure the heat of the banya. Yesterday, though, the most important lesson I learned was how kind they are. Everyone there, even strangers, took good care of me. I had a long conversation with a young Russian woman who spoke English. And I know that I sent them all home with funny stories to tell their families about the silly American who fainted at the banya.
I am putting the best possible spin on this situation, but make no mistake about the moral to this story - listen to your mother!
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7 comments:
Anna-Audra,
I hope you realize the damage you have done to my life's work of proving that it isn't ALWAYS necessary to listen to our mothers.
I have to ask what would possess you, regardless of the "cultural value," to allow someone to beat you with sticks. I'll stick to those massage chairs they have at Sharper Image that I will never be able to afford.
Congrats on your experience. What's up next? Are you going to let someone drive a car directly at you really fast and then wrap you in banana leaves and leave you out in the sun for 4 hours? :)
Take care,
Allison
Gosh Ms. Steg,
You should always listen to yo' mama! You don't always have to do what she says, but you should always listen. Bring some of those veniki home. I know a few people on whom I would like to use them.
So what happened? Were you sitting there in your bathing suit and then collapsed on the floor? Did they throw cold water in your face like in the movies? Did you see God? Do they let cats in the banya?
Love Itchy
Well, Allison, when I see you in a few weeks I'll tell you about some of the times when I shouldn't have listened to Mom and did. What's next? I think I might try something as reckless as crossing the street here. There's about 40% chance that I'll be run over by someone who thinks traffic lights are for decorative purposes only.
Perhaps you can try hopping from lane to lane, in manner of Frogger. In case that doesn't work out, I will do some research on Russian tort law. I suspect it is less indulgent than our American laws!
May you cross safely,
Allison
Ah, my rising young attorney. You see, Russian law is quite reasonable. The enforcement is the issue! Do you have enough money for the bribe?
That depends...are we talking cash, or in-kind? Are there still things that they have difficulty getting in Russia - or am I going to have to ebay my PEZ collection?
Audrey,
I know that they didn't beat you too hard right? Or else I might have to come and protect my friend. I hope that you are alright and that you didn't get hurt when you fainted. Please come back to the States in one piece and the same way you left it. And please don't play in traffic!
Love
Mel S
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